Young tender things

I've noticed a trend lately on the Etsy. People are very concerned with stating that the wood they use to make items has either been 'recycled' or came from a sustainable source, or from a tree that was damaged and being removed, or..... a statement like this:
(No trees were harmed in the making of our gifts; Olive trees are "Trimmed" on a regular basis for easier harvesting and to avoid wind damage.)

I'd like to start saying that everything I make is made from a tender young tree I deliberately chopped down to make the product. The tree screamed in pain the whole time it was being cut up and continued crying as I turned it on the lathe. If the customer listens very closely, they may still hear sniffling coming from the interior of a bowl.

I probably shouldn't do that.... but I'd like to.